What someone says and what TRULY moves them to change are often two completely different things. In this article, I'll give you a method to discover your own TRUE reasons for wanting to do something. And then show you how to use that to drive you on until you reach your goal.
With coaching clients I use a '5 Whys' exercise, starting with their goal statement and then through a series of questions strip that back to reach their core reason(s) why they want that thing.
Here's an example of how I used that to help me understand why I wanted to improve my eating habits a few years ago: -
Q1: Why do I want to eat better?
Me: To help me live a healthier life, reach my body image goals and learn to be consistent in a balanced way for the rest of my life.
Q2: Why are those reasons important to me?
Me: Because I want to have more energy, be happier, set a good example for my kids, I want to be there for them when they need me.
Q3: And why is that important?
Me: Because I only have one life and I'm tired of feeling like I'm wasting it on things which aren't truly important.
Q4: And what difference will that make?
Me: It will create a sense of accomplishment for me and even stronger feelings of safety, love and caring amongst our little family.
Q5: And why will those things matter?
Me: Because I want my kids to have the confidence to try and fully commit to new things, discover their own happy path through life and not have a feeling of regret similar to what I have at the moment.
So on the outside, I wanted to start eating better. But the real reasons were to be a good example for my family, help my kids find happiness and simply be there for them when they need me.
The place I was in back then and the eating behaviours that had got me there wouldn't have made much of that possible.
Step 2 is to take your motivators and come up with visual cues and triggers to keep you on track when things get tough.
So I picture my son standing next to me when he's a bit older, asking me what I'm doing when starting to make a poorer decision and on occasion, looking disapprovingly. In my head I tell myself, 'what would Oscar say?'.
Create cues that mean something to you personally. Things that move you emotionally. The more heart felt they are the better.
If you haven't used these methods before, find a quiet place, try it out, write everything down for future reference.
Doing so will help you reach your goal faster and with less pain along the way. And if you're still stuck as to where to begin, ask yourself: -
> What REALLY matters to me and makes me get out of bed in the morning?
> By the end of 2017, what sort of person do I picture myself being? Still where I am today?
> And when I get there, how do I want to feel?
Record your TRUE MOTIVATIONS and stick them on the fridge or somewhere obvious to keep reminding you why you want that thing you're striving for.
And use your trigger cue(s) every day, whether your focus is starting to drift or not. Practise makes perfect, right?
If you need any more help with finding your own motivators or don’t know where to start, feel free to contact me. I'm here to support you.